


The Prince of Feelings Jams

by nice_igloo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Development, Developing Friendships, Dream Bubbles (Homestuck), Existentialism, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Regret, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22362604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nice_igloo/pseuds/nice_igloo
Summary: Eridan finds himself at a dead end.
Relationships: Eridan Ampora & Feferi Peixes, Eridan Ampora & Kanaya Maryam, Eridan Ampora & Sollux Captor, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor
Kudos: 77





	The Prince of Feelings Jams

he walks the ocean floor.  
the laws of gravity and pressure are not of concern.  
he doesn't often find himself concerned with the small things anymore.  
not even the big things really.  
and why would he?  
and why should he? 

he is alone and he is walking the ocean floor.  
it is pitch black deep down under.  
it is so dark that it almost isnt.  
it is so dark that it almost becomes something beyond.  
something yearning.  
reaching out to him.  
a thing only he can perceive.  
because he is alone. 

he realizes he's been holding his breath. he flaps his gills and breathes out. 

and in. 

and out. 

and in. 

and in. 

and in. 

and then he screams. 

he sinks to his knees. 

he screams. 

he clutches his head and falls over.  
his scream only grows in volume.  
he pounds the sand and rock beneath him with a fist. 

his tears and screams and pain are all stolen by the deep.  
the ocean does not console him.  
it does not care.  
it is still.  
and dark.  
and alone. 

the boy stopped screaming at some point.  
now he just lays.  
and listens to the nothing around him. 

he feels a hand on his shoulder.  
he turns and is met with a flurry of conflicting feelings.  
"i've missed you so much."  
"please stay away from me."  
before he can voice his thoughts she speaks. 

FEFERI: )(ello, -Eridan! 38)  
FEFERI: Pardon my presumpoirpose nature but you don't seam to be doing so w)(ale... 38(  
ERIDAN: "presumpoirpose" wwas a bit of a stretch evven for you fef 

she lets out a small laugh. the sound reminds him of the games they played as children. the competitions they had to see who could make the other laugh first. he almost smiles at the memory despite himself. 

FEFERI: T)(ere's no distance i won't go for a good fis)( pun! 38)  
FEFERI: You s)(oald try it sometime -Eridan it can be very fullfilling!   
ERIDAN: nah ill pass i wwouldnt wwanta embarrass you wwith my legendary skill in fish punnery 

she gives him a wry smile and lowers to sit crisscrossed next to him. he realizes he is still laying in the dirt like the goddamn wreck he is and quickly straightens out into a sitting position. Feferi eyes him carefully, trying to decide how she should breach the subject. 

FEFERI: -Eridan you-   
ERIDAN: i knoww  
ERIDAN: i knoww fef  
ERIDAN: i knoww wwhat i look like now  
ERIDAN: i understan wwhy evveryone avvoided me  
ERIDAN: im a monster   
FEFERI: No, -Eridan, listen you-   
ERIDAN: savve it fef  
ERIDAN: i knoww wwhat i am  
ERIDAN: im a failure horrid wwreck of a troll  
ERIDAN: im a murderer  
ERIDAN: and i used to think that wwas somethin to be proud a  
ERIDAN: hell i *aspired* to be a murderer  
ERIDAN: i 

he cannot bring himself to look at her. 

ERIDAN: i

she moves in front of him and gently cups his chin in her hands. he looks into her eyes for the first time. a neverending expanse of pure white greets him. 

  
FEFERI: You killed me. 

the boy is suddenly aware that he hasn't taken a breath in far too long. 

  
FEFERI: You killed Sollux. 

he can't feel his heartbeat. 

  
FEFERI: You killed Kanaya, and took the future of Alternian kind with her. 

the prince is beginning to remember. 

  
FEFERI: You know what happened next, Eridan.  
FEFERI: I know you can do this. 

Eridan's vision clears and he can now see the world around him for what it is.  
A massive bubble containing an endless sea. 

ERIDAN: oh  
ERIDAN: alright  
ERIDAN: you knoww i wwas wwonderin wwhat i wwas doin in a place like this  
ERIDAN: i hate the ocean 

Feferi gives him a big toothy smile and hugs him. 

FEFERI: I always knew all t)(at "Seadw)(aleer Superiority" nonsense was a bunc)(a carp!  
ERIDAN: yeah wwell  
ERIDAN: its not like i evver really meant it  
ERIDAN: i just didnt knoww i wwas allowwed to havve opinions that opposed the natural order a shit. seemed pretty set n stone growin up that i was just "better" than evveryone but you   
FEFERI: I know. You don't )(ave to justify your fear to me, I understand.  
FEFERI: But now you don't need to be afraid anymore! We're free from all t)(at barnacle! 38D 

Eridan considers this for a moment. 

ERIDAN: true enough but  
ERIDAN: it still doesnt change wwhat i did  
ERIDAN: it doesnt make me feel better about myself or fix any a my problems  
ERIDAN: noww im just doomed to wwander this shitty ocean for wwhat  
ERIDAN: eternity?  
ERIDAN: the rest a existence bein stuck inside my owwn fuckin skull  
ERIDAN: no offense fef but i dont got nothin to look forwward to here so sorry if i come across as ungrateful but idk wwhat u wwere expectin wwith this heartfelt reunion 

Feferi lets out a loud dramatic "hmph" like an exasperated schoolgrub in a sitcom and begins pacing, shooting a glare at Eridan as she starts talking. 

FEFERI: Y'know -Eridan not -EV-ERYT)(ING is about YOU.   
ERIDAN: huh-   
FEFERI: "O)( w)(y am *I* so troubled! W)(y am *I* so lonely! W)(y is nobody catering for me? Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!" You understand you are being a R-E-EL downer rig)(t now yes?   
ERIDAN: wwell given the circumstances 

He gestures all around him.

ERIDAN: i think its more than fair for me to be a "reel dowwner" right now fef 

Feferi rolls her eyes (how she manages to do this without pupils is unknown) and grabs Eridans arm, pulling him to his feet. 

FEFERI: W)(ale if you so badly want to leave t)(en lets go already!!! Quit moping and start walking! 

  
Eridan reluctantly begins following his lifelong, and thoroughly intimidating, friend through the murky deep of the sea. They walk for what might have been hours, or minutes, or days. It's impossible for Eridan to keep track here. He might have to get used to that, he thinks. Then suddenly they arent in an ocean anymore. They're standing in a huge meadow full of grazing musclebeasts. Eridan touches his clothes, and finds them completely dry.

ERIDAN: damn fef you really werent pullin my chain  
ERIDAN: like a course i trust you n all but wwoww i wwasn expectin the bubbles to be this vvast wwtf howwd you manage to do this   
FEFERI: Communing wit)( ancient )(orrors of paradox space )(as it's perks! 38) 

Before Eridan can ask more about the dream bubbles a blinding flash of jade light surrounds the both of them for several moments. The light blinks out as quickly as it materialized and the two trolls were left staring at the figure now standing in front of them. The figure, seemingly just as confused to see them as well, hesitates before speaking. 

KANAYA: Ah.  
KANAYA: Well.  
KANAYA: Hello.  
KANAYA: It Is Good To See You, Feferi.   
)(i Kanaya! 38D   
KANAYA: It Seems Your Eyes.  
KANAYA: Are No Longer... Present.  
KANAYA: This Is A Great Tragedy As I Found Them One Of Your Most Beautiful Features.   
FEFERI: O)( goodness! You s)(ore know )(ow to make a girl blus)( Kanaya 38)c   
ERIDAN: hello kan   
KANAYA: Yes Well I Speak Not To Flatter, Only Of The Truth As I Believe It To Be.  
KANAYA: Using Only Words Of Mere Flattery Would Be A Waste On A Troll As Beautiful As Yourself, You Deserve A Higher Degree Of Extravagance Towards Honeyed Words.   
FEFERI: Gos)( I dunno about all of t)(at Kanaya, I enjoy simple flirtations as muc)( as any ot)(er kind of flirtation!   
ERIDAN: wwell i agree wwith kan on this fef only those wwho really *spice it up* wwith their flirtations n wwhatnot should be wworthy of your attention right kan?   
KANAYA: Feferi What I Am Trying To Say Is That You Are Far Too Gracious To The Horrid Egomaniacal Murdering Idiotic Shit For Brains That Seem To Flock To You. They Only Weighs You Down.   
ERIDAN: oh VVERY subtle prissyfangs you realize im RIGHT here   
KANAYA: Hold On Feferi I Think I Just Heard The Chirpings Of The Worlds Smallest Most Insignificant Bird. If I Were A Bird Watcher Perhaps I Would Seek Out This Incredibly Shitty Bird In Hopes To Document It For Posterity, But I Am Not A Bird Watcher And There Is No Fucking Posterity Anymore So I Guess That Little Bird Is Going To Die Alone Without Anyone Knowing He Even Existed And No One Will Care Either Because He Was Such A Shitty Shitty Bird. 

Silence. If Eridan weren't already dead the venom oozing from Kanaya's words would have dissolved him. He'd deserve it too, he supposes. 

FEFERI: You're absolutely rig)(t Kanaya! I really do need to take up a )(obby, suc)( as bird watc)(ing, to entertain myself out in t)(ese bubbles! You're so wise 38)  
KANAYA: Yes.  
KANAYA: This Is Absolutely The Message I Intended. Rose Has Been Teaching Me How To Knit And I Have Been Helping Her Sew. You Would Think The Two Are Similar Enough So As To Not Require Lessons On One Another But They Are Suprisingly Distinct In Practice. I Knit A Duck For Her.

Kanaya holds out a purple knitted duck. She is very careful to not drop it and seems to regard it with affection and reverence. It has wool fangs. Nice. Maybe the duck is a metaphor for their union in love, with Rose's signature purple and Kanaya's Rainbow Drinker fangs. Maybe the Duck is symbolic of the struggles they've gone through to get where they are, with its disfigured feet (Kanaya accidentally amputated it more than a few times) and malformed bill. Maybe it's just a very powerful and lovely duck blessed by Sappho Herself. Who can say for sure? Whatever the truth may be, one thing was clear to Eridan in that moment.  
  
It was a good ass duck. 

**Author's Note:**

> eridan can have little a character development


End file.
